This morning I read a blog article from a gal that I love reading. Today’s article, “Success Sabotage-Are You Settling for Less Than You Want,” by Gina Bell really resonated with me as I thought about her message in relation to careers and job search.
Negative self-talk (you know, that “Negative Nelly” or “Realistic Ron” voice in the back of your head) can keep you from the success you deserve, even when everything you else you do is completely right. We all pay lip service to this concept, but even I fight that inclination sometimes.
What success is your self-talk keeping you from?
- That promotion.
- Jumping out in faith to go for a new position at a different company.
- Starting a degree program that will propel you forward.
- Reaching for the position that you know you can do, but . . .
- Daring to dream that there IS a dream job and career out there for you.
(Come on, be honest! There’s no test, and I’m certainly not gonna blab!)
So what happens?
We settle for that dead-end job, because, hey at least I have one, right? Or, maybe next time it will be my turn for the promotion, or (my personal coaching favorite), you can’t make money doing what would be my dream job. It’s not possible.
So you sit, miserable, at your desk, allowing that negative self-talk to feed and fester on itself. I have seen countless candidates that literally sabotage their own success at an interview, telegraphing I’m not worthy like it’s a neon sign over their heads.
I promise, it will never ever end on its own. You have to MAKE IT STOP.
Let me say this again, YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE NEGATIVE SELF-TALK STOP. You can’t move forward toward success until you do, no matter what you industry/position/career you’re in! No one else will ever believe you can succeed until YOU do!
Here are some quick (but not necessarily easy steps) to reprogram your thinking!
1. Take Control of Your Mind. Remember, your mind works for you! You’re the boss. Make a conscious choice to think and believe what you choose, not what’s “realistic” (which is a code word for pessimism).
2. Talk to Yourself! It’s better if you don’t walk around muttering like a crazy person, but yes, talking to yourself out loud is a great way to catch what you’re telling yourself! Every time you hear that voice start, stop it and say out loud, “That’s not true. I CAN do this, I AM capable, I AM worthy, I AM successful.” Pretty soon the spoken word will drown out the thoughts and become your new internal dialogue.
Fill your life with positive reinforcement! Yeah, there’s a lot of hokey out there, but the old adage, “Garbage in, Garbage out” is also very true. So surround yourself with those things that will push out the garbage! Calm or uplifting music, meditation or prayer, reading positive books that will affirm your dreams (Motivational, spiritual, or self-help all apply. Calvin and Hobbes cartoons can apply too.) Seek out those resources you have around you that will build you up.
This is a process, but one will propel you toward your dreams, and build a more fulfilling future you will enjoy.